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Beginning a New Life
Matrimonial News |
Love Will Come Later |
The Widow-Bride
The incidents attendant on our new life are
crowding one another rapidly; we find ourselves working every minute, just getting
organized so we may know where to begin. ... Officially, our new life began the
first of last week, when Hubert reported at his office at the Embassy, leaving me
to my own devices.
Rosa-Maye Kendrick Harmon, Letters From London,
1928
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It was not unusual for new brides to find themselves in
unfamiliar surroundings soon after their marriage. Whether they were new
emigrants or immigrants, widowed brides or child brides, the challenges were
almost endless. |
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Matrimonial News |
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In the late 19th and early 20th
centuries, there was a discrepancy in how men and women were spread about
America: many single women lived in Eastern cities, while thousands of single
men lived in western mining and ranching communities. The problem was getting the two groups together. To help
in this endeavor, The Matrimonial News, a matchmaking newspaper, promoted “honorable matrimonial engagements and true conjugal felicities” for those
willing to pay the price ($1.50 per word). In their ads, prospective spouses
could be as specific or as general as they liked:
Young lady of good family and education, considered handsome,
would like to correspond with some gentleman of means, one who would be willing
to take her without a dollar, as she has nothing to offer but herself.
A bachelor of 40, good appearance and substantial means, wants
a wife. She must be under 30, amiable and musical.
I am 33 years of age, and as regards looks can average with most men. I am
looking for a lady to make her my wife, as I am heartily tired of bachelor life.
I desire a lady not over 28 or 30 years of age, not ugly, well educated and
musical. She must have at least $20,000.
Although some people found mates through such services, they often
proved to be scams set up to separate lonely people from their hard-earned
money. In 1919, the New York Times reported that The Matrimonial News
was a fraud in which women were requested to pay “$10 as a fee and $1 monthly
for life, or until she found a husband.”
At least one Wyoming bride found a husband through a matrimonial
newspaper. In 1914, Elinor Pruitt Stewart wrote of a couple she encountered in
southwest Wyoming:
In a wobbly old buckboard sat a young couple completely engrossed by each other.
That he was a Westerner we knew by his cowboy hat and boots; that she was an
Easterner, by her not knowing how to dress for the ride across the desert. It
came out that our young couple were bride and groom. They had never seen each
other until the night before, having met through a matrimonial paper. They were
married that morning and the young husband was taking her away to Pinedale to
his ranch.
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Love Will Come Later |
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As important as it
is to us, many 19th century couples married for reasons other than love.
Social status, political connections, money or security were some of the reasons
people married. Thousands of young women came to the United States to marry
“contract husbands” who had previously emigrated from “The Old Country.” Like
the woman on her way to Pinedale, they didn’t meet their future mates until the
wedding day.
Most brides went
into marriage hoping that love would “come later.” Elinor Stewart was a widow
who came West seeking a better life for herself and her young daughter. She
moved to Burnt Fork, Wyoming, in 1909 to take a job as housekeeper to a Scottish
farmer whom she later married. They had only known each other a short time, but
“the trend of events and ranch work,” she said, “seemed to require that we be
married first and do our ‘sparking’ afterward. Although I married in haste, I
have no cause to repent.”
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The Widow-Bride |
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The hardships of
childbirth claimed many a young bride in 19th Century America,
leaving men with children to raise on their own. Oftentimes, second wives were
sought simply as caregivers to children; if love was involved, it was a bonus.
John B. Kendrick’s mother, Irish-born Anna Maye (possibly Mayo), was a second
wife who, in addition to bearing two children of her own, took over care for the
five children of her husband’s first marriage.
One of those five children, Samuel Smith Kendrick, found himself
in a situation similar to his father’s. His first wife, Missouri Florence, had
died in 1882, leaving him with three children under the age of seven. To provide
companionship for himself and childcare for his offspring, he married
24-year-old childless widow Celia Matilda Jackson Dooley in 1883. Celia not only
raised Samuel’s three children, but bore nine more of her own between 1883 and
1900. |
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